Back in April, I wrote an article about the Demise of StyleLife, detailing how their site declined at a much more rapid pace than I expected. Just wanted to give a quick update on that:
StyleLife did a complete makeover of their site. They changed the layout and made it much more flashy and attractive. While it looks like they're no longer offering live programs, they got plenty of good new material that isn't recycled whatsoever...right? Well, as flashy and new their website looks, the webstats showing the number of page views over the past year don't look so good:
They went from 30,000 views back in April (the month I said the site was pretty much dead) to just 8,000 views in August. What's even more shocking is according to digitalsitestats.com, StyleLife went from bringing in daily average income of $23 at the beginning of the year to just $7.
Furthermore, as dismal as the news was back in April, I predicted that the StyleLife Public Forum, despite its lack of activity, would stay up. Well looks like I was WRONG about that. As soon as the new site layout went up, they completely deleted the public forum.
On the website itself, they only have access to a handful of shoddy recycled articles. They deleted most of their old articles and kept only a few. If you want full access to the material however, you can pay their $85/month fee or $250/quarter fee to just read more bullshit. I'll pass.
So once again, things don't just still look bad for Stylelife but they look worse.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Thursday, May 26, 2016
When PUA Masters/Gurus Ban People For Criticism
Actions speak louder than words, and if you're still on the fence as to whether a PUA guru/master is legit or not, take this into consideration. I talked about before how I was banned from the Elite Forum at Stylelife Academy for simply pointing out ten reasons why Stylelife was failing as a business. Reasons such as how Stylelife teaches pickup and seduction from an academic standpoint instead of a practical standpoint, which is very ineffective. Stylelife even went as far as deleting my post and accused me and another guy who was critical of them as being a part of the rape culture. You know, that fabricated epidemic that feminists made up? Now of course Stylelife is all but dead now and I figured this would be an isolated incident because they were losers and all, but I'm finding this sort of treatment towards people with criticism and differing opinions is quite common among the bigger, more well known PUA sites like Real Social Dynamics. I heard for example people will post a critical post about a personal bootcamp experience only to have it deleted, get called a "fag" and then get banned from the forums. I was also removed from a Facebook group called The Natural Society for posting about how game is bullshit and looks do matter. They didn't like that very much.
PUAs teach guys to 'not be reactive', 'don't lose your cool', 'be the dominant alpha male', etc., yet they tuck tail and run when a challenger dares question the shrewd teachings
PUAs teach guys to 'not be reactive', 'don't lose your cool', 'be the dominant alpha male', etc., yet they tuck tail and run when a challenger dares question the shrewd teachings
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Currently In A Recession Period - Have I Hit The Trough and How Soon Will Recovery Come?
When it comes to going out, I always operate on a cycle. There will be times when I'm just hitting it hard going out, for months on end, whether it be at a popular mainstream bar or club at night or some place like the mall or Starbucks during the day. Then there will be times where while I don't completely lock myself away, I will experience this huge lull and undesire to go out and would rather read, type, just casually hang out at Starbucks yet not talk to anyone, or stay in over the weekend and watch movies or even go to the theater (something I only do a few times a year these days). Usually peaks and lulls are triggered by events, whether it be traveling, going on a bootcamp, how often I have to work, or just a simple epiphany. Even online dating, something I've been actively involved in, goes with this cycle.
As the title suggests, I am in a lull period right now.
The crazy thing is peak and lull periods happen when I least expect them. Something that I would think would springboard me actually brings me down, or vise versa. The last peak/lull I experienced, for example, happened from the second half of July up to the first half of October of last year. What happened was I was going out regularly, even going to summer pool parties. At the time, I was actively following RSD and listening to what they were saying, and I was excited to have a former RSD assistant instructor who has ties with all the big names live with me for a few months and show me how to 'game like a pro'. While it was all good fun, unfortunately things didn't turn out how I expected. Long story short, I became too dependent on him for success and he had his own things going on to the point where he himself didn't go out all that much. What I thought would have been a springboard turned out to be a huge weight into a hole. It got to a point where all I wanted to do was read and watch episodes of Dragonball Z. Even going to dance socials at that time was not consistent and happened only every now and then.
The moment I finally got out of the lull of last year was when I did go on my first RSD bootcamp in NYC in October. After the program, I experienced that bootcamp high everyone talks about and I started going out all the time again after. What really springboarded me after that was when I got into Good Looking Loser and did the approach anxiety program there, which overall I had a lot of fun with. I also moved closer to where the action is in Tampa to fix my logistics. Best of all, I had the five day Model Season Bootcamp with RSD coming up and I was all prepared for that. After this bootcamp, I would have springboarded so high I could reach the moon. There's no way I would regress ever again, let alone go into another lull...right?
Well, the Model Season Bootcamp was the beginning of the end. I was really shocked that afterwards things would just come crashing down when the exact opposite happened. First of all, the bootcamp was in South Beach in Miami. That alone made things miserable. Furthermore, I had a hard time enduring three days in the previous bootcamp, and I was about to endure five. Well, I should have been well prepared to handle what the instructors would throw at me. I felt comfortable and confident the first night since I had high momentum and was ready to go. I may talk about my Miami RSD bootcamp in much greater detail on a later date since it wasn't too long ago and title it something along the lines of "The End of RSD for Me", but to sum it up, it was just negative reference experience after negative reference experience after negative reference experience. On this bootcamp, like all other RSD bootcamps from what I understand, the instructor uses his elbow to point towards a girl or group he wants you to open, and you better be in set the whole time. They don't even let you drink alcohol on bootcamp (which in a way is a good thing since alcohol can be super expensive at some of these venues). If you're paying $2,000 to $3,000 for a bootcamp, I think there should be much more involved than going to some venue you may or may not even like and have the instructor just throw you into sets the whole time and tell you to plow through interactions and just ramble a bunch of bullshit hoping that the girl will cave somehow and latch onto you. But that's beside the point. The worst thing was after all that, I still hadn't learned my lesson. I felt that I did better on that bootcamp compared to the last one, so I felt I should do a week of Vegas Immersion. I even paid the $200 deposit for a week, but after recent events I decided to just cut my losses because I never want to go on a bootcamp ever again.
The bad reference experiences didn't stop at the end of the bootcamp. I was doing the bootcamp while doing the later exercises from the AA program at GLL, which are some of the most outlandish and ridiculous things ever (e.g. going around telling random girls that they're sexy and seeing how they react). There were instances where I almost got thrown out of venues, almost got into fights, and almost had girls call the cops on me - okay it didn't get that bad, but I felt I was teetering on a level where I was about to get into serious trouble.
Other events outside of pickup triggered the recent lull. Nothing bad, but I started getting more involved with working out and becoming more involved with running a business and doing personal development. I wanted to focus on the working out and get in super shape. That included cutting out alcohol.
What really changed things for me however was when I started reading Aaron Sleazy's material. For the past several years, he has exposed the pickup industry for the sham that it is. I wouldn't have believed it had I not experienced it myself, and I believe what he says is true because the evidence is clear and present. I think that's what motivated me to start writing in this blog more frequently, but it has also led to regrets about how stupid I was to waste a whole lot of time and money on doing pickup when all I needed to do was just get in shape and stick with the right venues.
How long this lull period will last is up in the air, but I'm confident it will not last. There will come a time where I just say 'fuck it' and just start going out again. Maybe not five days a week like the typical PUA tells you to do, but at least on the weekend. Right now I think I'm trying to avoid alcohol consumption, which is very difficult when going to these venues especially on the weekend. There's also the possibility that I might be moving in the near future out of Tampa seeing how one-sided it has become with all the venues catering to sports fans.
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Why I Hate South Beach/Miami
Living in Florida all my life, I am very familiar with the state. Some places are great, some places are okay, and some places are just downright awful. One of those downright awful places is Miami.
I've been to Miami, primarily South Beach, four times within the last two years and I'm never going back. All four times I went down there were related to pickup, whether it was a seminar or a bootcamp. All four times were completely miserable from the minute I got there to the minute I left, and the only thing good about Miami is the road that leads out of it.
The irony is Miami is the one place most people think of when they think of Florida, yet when you go there it's nothing like the rest of the state. Instead it's like being in Southern California, but worse.
First thing you will notice when you get to South Beach is how abysmal the traffic and parking is. Granted, I think New York City is actually worse in this regard, but at least there you don't have to drive even if you live a relative close distance outside the city. In South Beach, there is no public transit, or at least no reliable public transit. Thankfully we have Uber, or else you would have to drive everywhere even if you've flown in from out of town. Taxis are unreliable and the drivers are dickheads.
Second, the people. The people in South Beach are some of the worst people on the planet. They're rude, they're vulgar, and it's like they go out of your way to make your experience an awful one. Not just the general public there, but even those working in customer service. Everyone talks about how rude New Yorkers are, but at least there's SOME justification for their rudeness. In New York City, just about everyone there is on a time crunch. These are super serious people making a huge living in the financial capital of the world, so everyone is trying to be efficient and not waste any time. Therefore, there's zero to no tolerance for those who get to the front of the line and still don't know what they want to order while fifty people are waiting behind them. Even so, people are friendly if you do ask for directions and there are places where customer service is top notch. It's actually way worse in Miami, let alone the fact that it's supposed to be a world-class vacation spot, so shouldn't the customer service be at least a tad bit better? Even places like Panera Bread suck down there.
Third, everything is a ripoff there, from parking to food to hotels to alcohol. Beer costs no less than eight bucks, water is sold at a premium, you're SUPER lucky to find a parking space you don't have to pay out the ass for (unless you just park in the Washington/Collins garage, which is mandatory if you plan on staying there for a while), and you get what you pay for when it comes to hotels. If you want to stay in a decent place, you better be willing to pay at least $500 a night or else you're going to have to settle for a dump. Even AirBnB hosts charge out the wazoo there.
Fourth is just the overall atmosphere. South Beach is for the super rich and super good-looking, glamorized in rap videos by Lil Jon. People there party and snort coke for a living, like 24/7. Even if I was super rich and good-looking, I would never visit there again, let alone live there. Pickup companies love to hold bootcamps there though, and they wonder why most of their students feel miserable from the experience.
My Best Seductions Required Little To No Effort On My Part (And Why Pickup Is BULLSHIT!)
I'm really surprised that Penn & Teller never did an episode of the Bullshit show about the pickup community. After all, they covered things such as aliens, ghosts, organic food, astrology, and even went after the self-help industry as well as network marketing/MLM companies. The closest they ever came to an episode knocking the pickup community was the season 2 episode "The Business of Love", which bashed dating advice and modern dating customs in general. I heard that they even tried to get Ross Jeffries on the show but he declined. I would have loved to have seen an episode where Penn & Teller mock pickup by saying some stupid canned lines to the women they usually have on the set, and then have the camera crew go around interviewing local lairs and showing a live recording of a bootcamp. I heard there were so many episode ideas that they were considering for the Bullshit show but had to handpick a few. Hopefully Penn & Teller will bring the show back someday, even though now it might be unlikely they would create an episode on pickup since it's a dying industry.
Just briefly, I want to summarize my best seductions and why Neil Strauss and other 'gurus' would discredit them. My best seductions were mainly through dancing. Because I'm a relatively good dancer, having been involved with the latin dance scene for the past four years, many girls find that attractive. I don't even have to say a word; I can just ease into a makeout and go from there if I can tell the girl is into me. But guess what Neil Strauss, the "greatest pickup artist in the world", told me personally? That dancing with a girl doesn't count as physical escalation (or 'kino' escalation as they like to call it). How does it not count? If a girl dances with me, it's by choice; it's not like it's a forced arrangement. Plus, the majority of girls I dance with are complete strangers. Granted, there are girls who just like dancing and have no interest in most of the guys she dances with, but I can certainly escalate much faster through dancing, especially through more seductive dances like bachata or kizomba, with very little effort on my part than I can if I throw out some shitty-ass canned lines and magic tricks/bar cons like Neil and other gurus in the community tell you you're supposed to do. Nevertheless, I was an ignorant motherfucker at the time and believed what the guys with the credibility to their names said. In other words, straight up drinking the kool-aid. It really set me back and make me shoot myself in the foot many times with all the garbage theory thrown out there, like how you shouldn't make out with a girl on the dance floor, or you need to build attraction before you can escalate and if she backs off from your physical advances then you somehow didn't build enough attraction, or if she flakes on you than you screwed something up in the interaction, never taking into account where the girl is coming from.
The irony is that the pickup industry likes to point out a lot of myths with conventional wisdom, yet they create a lot of myths of their own. The first myth is that women are far more into a guy's personality than they are with his looks, lifestyle, etc. Yes, a good personality does help, but that's true with both genders. The pickup industry however leads you to believe that women are some completely different alien race that have crazy psychic powers yet can be fooled into becoming attracted to a guy if he just has the perfect body language and he says the most intriguing and funny things, even if he is obese and lives with his parents. That leads into the second myth, how a guy's attraction for a woman is like a light switch, in that a guy will automatically be attracted to a girl just by looking at her, and a girl's attraction for a guy is like a volume knob, meaning that a girl's attraction builds if the guy does all the right things, passes her shit tests, etc. Again, this is really stupid. First off, if this were really the case, online dating would be pretty much useless since there's not real way to express yourself on those sites and the best way to convey yourself is through your pictures. While women do get more emotional over certain things, at the end of the day they are not much different at all from men; women are attracted to hot guys as much as men are attracted to hot girls. Of course there's other factors for a guy such as how much money he makes or what his social status is, and his ability to lead is taken into consideration as well.
One of the biggest fallacies of pickup is how they tell you to be the buyer; not the seller, but at the same time they suggest going up to every girl in the venue and 'plow' through interactions and 'burn them to the ground', even if the girl is clearly not interested from the getgo. Some examples even include talking to a totally non-receptive girl for seven minutes or more for the mere chance that she'll cave and then fuck you after. Pickup also focuses mainly on talking your way into a girl's pants. RSD has mixed views on this seeing that they're rooted in traditional pickup, but most other companies believe you have to build attraction by telling intriguing stories and being cocky/funny, etc. I personally am not a big talker. Never have been, and I get annoyed by people who talk for ten minutes on a point that they could have summed up in 10 seconds, which makes me think I would fit in better in New York City. Talking over loud music at a club is especially annoying. I realize now that a lot of pickup advice comes from guys who don't go to a lot of clubs often but might go to a couple just to say they go to clubs, and the ones who do go aren't successful. Girls are not in clubs to have a 'nice' conversation and to listen to some random dude's intriguing stories.
More on this later.
One of the biggest fallacies of pickup is how they tell you to be the buyer; not the seller, but at the same time they suggest going up to every girl in the venue and 'plow' through interactions and 'burn them to the ground', even if the girl is clearly not interested from the getgo. Some examples even include talking to a totally non-receptive girl for seven minutes or more for the mere chance that she'll cave and then fuck you after. Pickup also focuses mainly on talking your way into a girl's pants. RSD has mixed views on this seeing that they're rooted in traditional pickup, but most other companies believe you have to build attraction by telling intriguing stories and being cocky/funny, etc. I personally am not a big talker. Never have been, and I get annoyed by people who talk for ten minutes on a point that they could have summed up in 10 seconds, which makes me think I would fit in better in New York City. Talking over loud music at a club is especially annoying. I realize now that a lot of pickup advice comes from guys who don't go to a lot of clubs often but might go to a couple just to say they go to clubs, and the ones who do go aren't successful. Girls are not in clubs to have a 'nice' conversation and to listen to some random dude's intriguing stories.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
My RSD Bootcamp Experience
I figured I would get this out there while it's fresh on my mind. In the five years I've been involved in pickup, I've gone on three bootcamps. One was with Stylelife and the two others were with Real Social Dynamics. I may talk about the Stylelife bootcamp, but right now all I'm going to say is it's mainly like any typical PUA bootcamp where the instructors give you an opener to use and then tell you to use a line or "DHV" on all the girls you open. The instructors don't get laid, at least not with the girls that they cold approach in bars and clubs, but they're really good at convincing you that they successfully do every week. It really doesn't matter at this point because Stylelife, like much of the rest of the pickup industry, is going the way of the dodo. I want to focus on RSD for two reasons though. Number one is because I went on both bootcamps relatively recently (first one in October 2015 and second in February 2016). Second and most importantly, RSD is not your typical run-of-the-mill pickup company; they were the first pickup company to make it to the mainstream, they've become the #1 frontrunner and flagship company of the pickup industry for many years, they have the most number of followers and a very strong YouTube presence, and unlike just about every other company in the industry, they have evolved with the times past running routines and gimmicks and placed much of their focus on natural game and inner game/self help. Also, an RSD instructor gets laid FAR more often than any typical PUA guru, so they do at least practice what they preach. With all that said, when you pay $2,000-$3,000 for an RSD bootcamp, you're definitely going to get one badass bootcamp that just totally blows the competition out of the water and you'll go from "chode to champ" in only 3 to 5 days, right? Well not quite...
First of all, before I get into talking about my bootcamp experience, I just want to say that I'm not here to bash any of the instructors. They all do their jobs well and everyone has a different bootcamp experience. I'll even still watch the occasional RSD video on YouTube because, while some of their advice might still be ingrained into old school pickup or typical self-help advice, they still put out good content from time to time.
Just a little bit of background too, I first heard about RSD like most people - by reading The Game. I wonder if Neil Strauss realized that he heavily promoted RSD in his book when he was trying to condemn it and its founder Owen Cook aka Tyler Durden. I first took interest in it myself when I watched Julien's free tour video titled "Rejections and the Harsh Truth of Pickup", and I got hooked from there. However, it wasn't until I got really sick of the canned routine shit and all the drama that happened with Stylelife that I decided to check out RSD more. Luckly I knew a guy who lived locally that used to be a bootcamp assistant for Brad and he let me borrow a bunch of his DVDs, including Foundations and The Blueprint. It all definitely changed my perspective on pickup and meeting women in general after being exposed to canned routine game for so long, and the product I really got a lot out of was Ozzie's book The Physical Game, which I still think has a lot of great stuff in it even to this day. It wasn't long before I went to my first RSD live event, which was Alex's free tour and Hot Seat in October 2014 (one of his last). I thought just going and attending that was a real transformational experience, and it clearly changed the way I viewed pickup and how I went about doing pickup in general. If I got that much out of doing a hot seat, I was sure to get a lot out of a bootcamp. However, due to obvious financial reasons, it would be another year before I would attend a bootcamp.
In early 2015, I started following Todd a lot. I liked his videos because he said a lot of stuff I could really relate to, even if much of it was ingrained into old school pickup as he was one of the original residents of Project Hollywood. Therefore, it was only natural that I would choose him as my bootcamp instructor (on top of enrolling in Valentine University and buying 3 Girls a Day), and what better place to do it than New York City - a place I've never been to but always wanted to go to for many reasons, super hot women being one of them.
I'll try to remember as much as I can. Basically the bootcamp followed the free tour. I was instructed to meet outside this hotel in a relatively quiet area of midtown. Todd arrived with his assistants as well as Madison, who was an up-and-coming instructor at the time. Instead of three bootcamp students, there were six of us and it was both Todd and Madison conducting the bootcamp. I didn't really know who Madison was at the time and I never saw any of his videos, but I was about to find out. So basically the bootcamp started out with the instructors briefing us with what to expect, and their whole mantra was "The first rule of bootcamp is to do whatever the fuck your instructor tells you to do". So that means if your bootcamp instructor tells you to approach and open a set with some big ass alpha dude making out with some hot chick, or some bitchy-ass looking girls ready to tell you to fuck off as soon as you approach, you better do it or else...
So after briefing, they had us all jump into an Uber to drive over to the venue, which I forgot the name but it was some little crowded dive bar in the Chelsea/Meat Packing District area. It's a good thing I'm somewhat used to such venues, being someone who used to hang out in the SoHo/Hyde Park area of Tampa all the time, so I can't imagine how this would have been had I gone in as a complete newbie. Once we got in, Todd started telling each of us which groups to approach. I got really lucky that the first girl I approached was into me and I was dancing with her like crazy, but I didn't find her very attractive and I felt I could do better, but unfortunately things went downhill from there. Madison told me to do some crazy ass shit I didn't want to do because only a creep/weirdo would do it, so he made me do pushups in the middle of the bar, sending a message that he will embarrass the fuck out of you if you don't do what he says. There came a point where right there and then I almost wanted to say fuck it and leave, but I didn't want to be a deserter and plus I paid good money to be there, so I hung in there.
Basically what RSD instructors like to do on their programs is have their students spam approach every girl in the club, and instead of just leave if the girl doesn't show any sign of interest, they make you 'plow' through until the girl just gets up and leaves or until she just finally caves and starts showing interest. I hear some instructors even force you to go as far as only leaving if the girl threatens to get the bouncer or physical violence, even if it means following the girl if she gets up and leaves. Their advice is still ingrained into old school pickup when it comes to how a girl reacts, making you think that the girl is simply rejecting your approach rather than her just not being interested in you based on your looks or style. It really fucks with your head because they make it seem like you have control over every single situation and that you just have to push past a girl's "bitch shield" and a girl will only be attracted to you if you're "in state" and "in total congruence".
I'm not going to go into too much detail for the rest of the Todd/Madison bootcamp because much of it was pretty much the same. We spam approached girls in popular bars and clubs AND out on the street, something I struggle with and for good reason; it's just unnatural and downright creepy. I don't know about you, but I don't like being approached on the street, so why would some chick? There was one part of the second night of the bootcamp though where one of the guys got with this pretty hot girl and Todd thought it would be the perfect opportunity to distract her not as hot friend, who I ended up making out with. Me and the other student pulled them to this 24 hour diner, but they were with one of their other friends who hooked up with these two other guys. I didn't care to go all the way and I'm glad that I didn't because I wasn't really attracted to the girl I was supposed to be with.
Overall, the first bootcamp was OK. It was cool to hang out with Todd in person and all that jazz, but I definitely do not believe it was worth $2,000. I think a properly run bootcamp should be tailored to the student's interests and strengths rather than just trolling places that are popular but not so exclusive that you can't get in. But I couldn't be quick to judge because I was already set to do the Miami Model Season 5-Day bootcamp, one that I hear that's so badass that only alumni students can go on it, so it was like I had unfinished business. I heard Tyler himself was involved with this bootcamp and so were several other instructors. I was in for a real treat, and this would DEFINITELY be the bootcamp experience I've been waiting for. Right?
First, let me just come out and say it - I LOATHE Miami Beach. It is one of the most god awful places in existence and is only one step above being a third world dump. Everything there sucks. The parking, the people, the hotels, the traffic, the customer service, the price of everything especially alcohol...the beaches are pretty nice, but even that gets ruined whenever they have these major parties where no one bothers to pick up after themselves. But some how, some way, it's one place I visited FOUR times in the last two years - all pickup related. However, every minute I spend there, be it a day, a few days, or heaven forbid a week, is complete misery and hell. With that said, I did vow that this would be the very last time I would ever visit South Beach, and I certainly would be going out with a bang since I would be there for five days.
I booked at a shitty hostel where I had to share the room with some douchebags because you have to pay a ton of money to get standard quality in South Beach. Usually I don't make a big deal out of where I'm staying because I usually only go there to sleep, but the experience in South Beach is so bad that even sleeping is painful. Most of the week, I was not well rested, I didn't eat the best of foods, and the only exercise I got was from walking a bunch. Anyways, this five day bootcamp was the same week as the RSD Winter Summit, where I got to meet all the instructors in person. They were running the Model Season bootcamp a little differently this year where instead of switching off instructors, you stick with the same one throughout the entire program, so I chose Max since I thought he was the coolest. At the time, I was doing the Good Looking Loser approach anxiety program, so I felt like I was much more prepared for this bootcamp and I knew what to expect. Max was definitely a cool guy, but blurted out the same mantra of state control and how a girl turns you down only because you weren't in congruence or some BS like that. I won't go into too much detail with this bootcamp because much of it was the same - spam approach every girl you see and plow through the interactions. The major difference was the two extra days we had, we did day game out at Lincoln Road Mall, where we would embarrass ourselves trying to hit on these model girls who could barely even speak english only to be blown out in the worst ways possible. I'm surprised from this experience I wasn't physically assaulted. In fact, I'm surprised in the five years I've done pickup that I was never physically assaulted, even though there were times I felt like I deserved it. The last night of the bootcamp was pretty much a bust. Imagine every RSD instructor as well as all the bootcamp students and a ton of guys attending summit all meeting at Nikki Beach on a Sunday night trolling the place.
At the end of the day, an RSD bootcamp isn't much different from any typical PUA bootcamp. Sure, they don't make you recite any canned openers or routines/gimmicks to go up to use on the hottest girls in some exclusive nightclub like LIV in Miami, but spam approaching a bunch of girls in the venue and out on the street isn't much different. It's especially bad when the venues that they choose to run bootcamp at are venues heavily frequented by many PUAs, like Delano or Lincoln Road Mall in Miami. At this point, I say it's not worth it, but everybody's bootcamp experience is different. There was one guy who got laid every night on bootcamp, but he was an extremely good-looking European guy who was already getting laid a lot prior to the bootcamp. Not sure why he wanted to blow $3,000, but whatever. I really think a bootcamp should be tailored to the student's strengths and interests; not to his weaknesses or what's mainstream and popular. Neil Strauss himself at his conference I attended in 2014 flat out told me in front of the audience there that just meeting girls who want to do latin dancing is lame and I should be doing bar cons instead to reach out to more women. Fuck that. I can't say for sure, but I imagine that if I requested we went to a latin dance social on bootcamp, they'd do everything but with the excuse that I need to get out of my comfort zone, another BS mantra of the pickup community. Okay, I can understand getting out of your comfort zone by leaving your bedroom at least every once in a while, but forcing yourself to endure venues you don't even enjoy with people who don't even get along with?
Ok, I've rambled a lot on the subject and I'm sure I will ramble even more on another day at another time. For now, I'm going to go out and do something I really enjoy - attending a latin dance social.
First of all, before I get into talking about my bootcamp experience, I just want to say that I'm not here to bash any of the instructors. They all do their jobs well and everyone has a different bootcamp experience. I'll even still watch the occasional RSD video on YouTube because, while some of their advice might still be ingrained into old school pickup or typical self-help advice, they still put out good content from time to time.
Just a little bit of background too, I first heard about RSD like most people - by reading The Game. I wonder if Neil Strauss realized that he heavily promoted RSD in his book when he was trying to condemn it and its founder Owen Cook aka Tyler Durden. I first took interest in it myself when I watched Julien's free tour video titled "Rejections and the Harsh Truth of Pickup", and I got hooked from there. However, it wasn't until I got really sick of the canned routine shit and all the drama that happened with Stylelife that I decided to check out RSD more. Luckly I knew a guy who lived locally that used to be a bootcamp assistant for Brad and he let me borrow a bunch of his DVDs, including Foundations and The Blueprint. It all definitely changed my perspective on pickup and meeting women in general after being exposed to canned routine game for so long, and the product I really got a lot out of was Ozzie's book The Physical Game, which I still think has a lot of great stuff in it even to this day. It wasn't long before I went to my first RSD live event, which was Alex's free tour and Hot Seat in October 2014 (one of his last). I thought just going and attending that was a real transformational experience, and it clearly changed the way I viewed pickup and how I went about doing pickup in general. If I got that much out of doing a hot seat, I was sure to get a lot out of a bootcamp. However, due to obvious financial reasons, it would be another year before I would attend a bootcamp.
In early 2015, I started following Todd a lot. I liked his videos because he said a lot of stuff I could really relate to, even if much of it was ingrained into old school pickup as he was one of the original residents of Project Hollywood. Therefore, it was only natural that I would choose him as my bootcamp instructor (on top of enrolling in Valentine University and buying 3 Girls a Day), and what better place to do it than New York City - a place I've never been to but always wanted to go to for many reasons, super hot women being one of them.
I'll try to remember as much as I can. Basically the bootcamp followed the free tour. I was instructed to meet outside this hotel in a relatively quiet area of midtown. Todd arrived with his assistants as well as Madison, who was an up-and-coming instructor at the time. Instead of three bootcamp students, there were six of us and it was both Todd and Madison conducting the bootcamp. I didn't really know who Madison was at the time and I never saw any of his videos, but I was about to find out. So basically the bootcamp started out with the instructors briefing us with what to expect, and their whole mantra was "The first rule of bootcamp is to do whatever the fuck your instructor tells you to do". So that means if your bootcamp instructor tells you to approach and open a set with some big ass alpha dude making out with some hot chick, or some bitchy-ass looking girls ready to tell you to fuck off as soon as you approach, you better do it or else...
So after briefing, they had us all jump into an Uber to drive over to the venue, which I forgot the name but it was some little crowded dive bar in the Chelsea/Meat Packing District area. It's a good thing I'm somewhat used to such venues, being someone who used to hang out in the SoHo/Hyde Park area of Tampa all the time, so I can't imagine how this would have been had I gone in as a complete newbie. Once we got in, Todd started telling each of us which groups to approach. I got really lucky that the first girl I approached was into me and I was dancing with her like crazy, but I didn't find her very attractive and I felt I could do better, but unfortunately things went downhill from there. Madison told me to do some crazy ass shit I didn't want to do because only a creep/weirdo would do it, so he made me do pushups in the middle of the bar, sending a message that he will embarrass the fuck out of you if you don't do what he says. There came a point where right there and then I almost wanted to say fuck it and leave, but I didn't want to be a deserter and plus I paid good money to be there, so I hung in there.
Basically what RSD instructors like to do on their programs is have their students spam approach every girl in the club, and instead of just leave if the girl doesn't show any sign of interest, they make you 'plow' through until the girl just gets up and leaves or until she just finally caves and starts showing interest. I hear some instructors even force you to go as far as only leaving if the girl threatens to get the bouncer or physical violence, even if it means following the girl if she gets up and leaves. Their advice is still ingrained into old school pickup when it comes to how a girl reacts, making you think that the girl is simply rejecting your approach rather than her just not being interested in you based on your looks or style. It really fucks with your head because they make it seem like you have control over every single situation and that you just have to push past a girl's "bitch shield" and a girl will only be attracted to you if you're "in state" and "in total congruence".
I'm not going to go into too much detail for the rest of the Todd/Madison bootcamp because much of it was pretty much the same. We spam approached girls in popular bars and clubs AND out on the street, something I struggle with and for good reason; it's just unnatural and downright creepy. I don't know about you, but I don't like being approached on the street, so why would some chick? There was one part of the second night of the bootcamp though where one of the guys got with this pretty hot girl and Todd thought it would be the perfect opportunity to distract her not as hot friend, who I ended up making out with. Me and the other student pulled them to this 24 hour diner, but they were with one of their other friends who hooked up with these two other guys. I didn't care to go all the way and I'm glad that I didn't because I wasn't really attracted to the girl I was supposed to be with.
Overall, the first bootcamp was OK. It was cool to hang out with Todd in person and all that jazz, but I definitely do not believe it was worth $2,000. I think a properly run bootcamp should be tailored to the student's interests and strengths rather than just trolling places that are popular but not so exclusive that you can't get in. But I couldn't be quick to judge because I was already set to do the Miami Model Season 5-Day bootcamp, one that I hear that's so badass that only alumni students can go on it, so it was like I had unfinished business. I heard Tyler himself was involved with this bootcamp and so were several other instructors. I was in for a real treat, and this would DEFINITELY be the bootcamp experience I've been waiting for. Right?
First, let me just come out and say it - I LOATHE Miami Beach. It is one of the most god awful places in existence and is only one step above being a third world dump. Everything there sucks. The parking, the people, the hotels, the traffic, the customer service, the price of everything especially alcohol...the beaches are pretty nice, but even that gets ruined whenever they have these major parties where no one bothers to pick up after themselves. But some how, some way, it's one place I visited FOUR times in the last two years - all pickup related. However, every minute I spend there, be it a day, a few days, or heaven forbid a week, is complete misery and hell. With that said, I did vow that this would be the very last time I would ever visit South Beach, and I certainly would be going out with a bang since I would be there for five days.
I booked at a shitty hostel where I had to share the room with some douchebags because you have to pay a ton of money to get standard quality in South Beach. Usually I don't make a big deal out of where I'm staying because I usually only go there to sleep, but the experience in South Beach is so bad that even sleeping is painful. Most of the week, I was not well rested, I didn't eat the best of foods, and the only exercise I got was from walking a bunch. Anyways, this five day bootcamp was the same week as the RSD Winter Summit, where I got to meet all the instructors in person. They were running the Model Season bootcamp a little differently this year where instead of switching off instructors, you stick with the same one throughout the entire program, so I chose Max since I thought he was the coolest. At the time, I was doing the Good Looking Loser approach anxiety program, so I felt like I was much more prepared for this bootcamp and I knew what to expect. Max was definitely a cool guy, but blurted out the same mantra of state control and how a girl turns you down only because you weren't in congruence or some BS like that. I won't go into too much detail with this bootcamp because much of it was the same - spam approach every girl you see and plow through the interactions. The major difference was the two extra days we had, we did day game out at Lincoln Road Mall, where we would embarrass ourselves trying to hit on these model girls who could barely even speak english only to be blown out in the worst ways possible. I'm surprised from this experience I wasn't physically assaulted. In fact, I'm surprised in the five years I've done pickup that I was never physically assaulted, even though there were times I felt like I deserved it. The last night of the bootcamp was pretty much a bust. Imagine every RSD instructor as well as all the bootcamp students and a ton of guys attending summit all meeting at Nikki Beach on a Sunday night trolling the place.
At the end of the day, an RSD bootcamp isn't much different from any typical PUA bootcamp. Sure, they don't make you recite any canned openers or routines/gimmicks to go up to use on the hottest girls in some exclusive nightclub like LIV in Miami, but spam approaching a bunch of girls in the venue and out on the street isn't much different. It's especially bad when the venues that they choose to run bootcamp at are venues heavily frequented by many PUAs, like Delano or Lincoln Road Mall in Miami. At this point, I say it's not worth it, but everybody's bootcamp experience is different. There was one guy who got laid every night on bootcamp, but he was an extremely good-looking European guy who was already getting laid a lot prior to the bootcamp. Not sure why he wanted to blow $3,000, but whatever. I really think a bootcamp should be tailored to the student's strengths and interests; not to his weaknesses or what's mainstream and popular. Neil Strauss himself at his conference I attended in 2014 flat out told me in front of the audience there that just meeting girls who want to do latin dancing is lame and I should be doing bar cons instead to reach out to more women. Fuck that. I can't say for sure, but I imagine that if I requested we went to a latin dance social on bootcamp, they'd do everything but with the excuse that I need to get out of my comfort zone, another BS mantra of the pickup community. Okay, I can understand getting out of your comfort zone by leaving your bedroom at least every once in a while, but forcing yourself to endure venues you don't even enjoy with people who don't even get along with?
Ok, I've rambled a lot on the subject and I'm sure I will ramble even more on another day at another time. For now, I'm going to go out and do something I really enjoy - attending a latin dance social.
Monday, April 18, 2016
My Experiences In Pickup: David DeAngelo
What's the best way to start this series than at the beginning with the one source that got me started with the Pickup Community - David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating.
I already talked about how I was introduced to David DeAngelo and ultimately the Pickup Community via intriguing link on OkCupid. I downloaded the ebook Double Your Dating and I was completely amazed by what I read. Now here was someone who I felt wouldn't hold back and was telling the honest to God truth as to why I haven't been successful with women in the past. Most poeple, particularly friends and family, would give the typical advice and think that I was doing everything right in being a nice guy who will eventually get the girl, but of course that never panned out. It was because of reading Double Your Dating that I just miraculously discovered and decided that "sagas" were a waste of time. A saga is another name for a crazy obsession/crush over a single girl for a long period of time, or what the PUA Community likes to refer to as "oneitis".
Not only did I follow the advice from Double Your Dating, but I also subscribed to the emails David sent out on a daily basis. It was a lot of the same advice from the book but reemphasized. Basically the jist of the advice was women were mainly attracted to personality moreso than looks or wealth, insecurity and neediness kill your chances with women, and being cocky and funny was key. Cocky & Funny was David DeAngelo's signature dating strategy, if that's what you'd like to call it. He further emphasized on this in his second ebook called Attraction Isn't A Choice, which talked about how women are attracted to jerks moreso than nice guys even though nice guys are clearly a better choice. From there I got a couple of CD's from his monthly interview series, where he interviews guys like Dr. Paul and talk about subjects like the psychology of women and perseverance through dating challenges as well as strategies for online dating.
Later, I took interest in David DeAngelo's DVD series, which covered multiple subjects like body language, cocky comedy, meeting women in clubs and bars, inner game, and even the advanced dating program. I was hooked, but I didn't have the money to buy all of them outright. I started with a few at a time. The first once I checked out was the Cocky Comedy DVDs. Basically this DVD series, like the rest of David D's DVD series, are filmed seminars focusing on specific topics. David will do a presentation and then have several guest speakers come up and talk. This is how I got introduced to many of the guys involved in the community including guys like Mystery and Sean Stephenson. I was really drawn in to Sean Stephenson, who gives some of the best motivational talks and I even went on to read a couple of his books after. There were guys advertising bootcamps and coaching etc., most of which didn't exist by the time I watched the DVDs since most of them were filmed in the mid 2000's. Since I didn't know better and since I was really bought in by the marketing, I just had to have more and more and more, thinking as long as I soak up all the information, I will overcome all the obstacles standing in my way to have the best relationship/sex life ever.
There were some other pickup gurus that I got into either as a result of watching one of David D's programs or through one of the other gurus, like using the network to my advantage. As I started getting into these other guru's, my interest in David DeAngelo started to significantly wane. However, I was following a new found philosophy and knew I couldn't turn back. The problem was by the time I got into David D's material, he was already facing retirement. He only came out with one new product since then, which was Becoming Mr. Right. After that, he officially retired the David DeAngelo name and became Eben Pagan and started talking about finance and entrepreneurship instead of dating and sex. I never met David D in person, and from what I understand I'm glad that's the case; I heard he isn't very nice in person and has been rude to followers of his. I think he even blocked me from his Eben Pagan Facebook page when I mentioned David DeAngelo in the comments on one of the posts.
Looking back, I feel like an idiot for falling for a lot of the marketing. I spent hundreds of dollars on David D material. However, a common thing I'm going to bring up over and over again is I cannot bash anything without experiencing it first. Besides, getting into David D's material was what I started to see as the first step in the right direction, but I would later continue to walk through the marketing and BS.
Join me next time as I talk about the Secret Spartan Society (SSS), a local group in Tampa that I partook in based on my interest in David DeAngelo and pickup.
I already talked about how I was introduced to David DeAngelo and ultimately the Pickup Community via intriguing link on OkCupid. I downloaded the ebook Double Your Dating and I was completely amazed by what I read. Now here was someone who I felt wouldn't hold back and was telling the honest to God truth as to why I haven't been successful with women in the past. Most poeple, particularly friends and family, would give the typical advice and think that I was doing everything right in being a nice guy who will eventually get the girl, but of course that never panned out. It was because of reading Double Your Dating that I just miraculously discovered and decided that "sagas" were a waste of time. A saga is another name for a crazy obsession/crush over a single girl for a long period of time, or what the PUA Community likes to refer to as "oneitis".
Not only did I follow the advice from Double Your Dating, but I also subscribed to the emails David sent out on a daily basis. It was a lot of the same advice from the book but reemphasized. Basically the jist of the advice was women were mainly attracted to personality moreso than looks or wealth, insecurity and neediness kill your chances with women, and being cocky and funny was key. Cocky & Funny was David DeAngelo's signature dating strategy, if that's what you'd like to call it. He further emphasized on this in his second ebook called Attraction Isn't A Choice, which talked about how women are attracted to jerks moreso than nice guys even though nice guys are clearly a better choice. From there I got a couple of CD's from his monthly interview series, where he interviews guys like Dr. Paul and talk about subjects like the psychology of women and perseverance through dating challenges as well as strategies for online dating.
Later, I took interest in David DeAngelo's DVD series, which covered multiple subjects like body language, cocky comedy, meeting women in clubs and bars, inner game, and even the advanced dating program. I was hooked, but I didn't have the money to buy all of them outright. I started with a few at a time. The first once I checked out was the Cocky Comedy DVDs. Basically this DVD series, like the rest of David D's DVD series, are filmed seminars focusing on specific topics. David will do a presentation and then have several guest speakers come up and talk. This is how I got introduced to many of the guys involved in the community including guys like Mystery and Sean Stephenson. I was really drawn in to Sean Stephenson, who gives some of the best motivational talks and I even went on to read a couple of his books after. There were guys advertising bootcamps and coaching etc., most of which didn't exist by the time I watched the DVDs since most of them were filmed in the mid 2000's. Since I didn't know better and since I was really bought in by the marketing, I just had to have more and more and more, thinking as long as I soak up all the information, I will overcome all the obstacles standing in my way to have the best relationship/sex life ever.
There were some other pickup gurus that I got into either as a result of watching one of David D's programs or through one of the other gurus, like using the network to my advantage. As I started getting into these other guru's, my interest in David DeAngelo started to significantly wane. However, I was following a new found philosophy and knew I couldn't turn back. The problem was by the time I got into David D's material, he was already facing retirement. He only came out with one new product since then, which was Becoming Mr. Right. After that, he officially retired the David DeAngelo name and became Eben Pagan and started talking about finance and entrepreneurship instead of dating and sex. I never met David D in person, and from what I understand I'm glad that's the case; I heard he isn't very nice in person and has been rude to followers of his. I think he even blocked me from his Eben Pagan Facebook page when I mentioned David DeAngelo in the comments on one of the posts.
Looking back, I feel like an idiot for falling for a lot of the marketing. I spent hundreds of dollars on David D material. However, a common thing I'm going to bring up over and over again is I cannot bash anything without experiencing it first. Besides, getting into David D's material was what I started to see as the first step in the right direction, but I would later continue to walk through the marketing and BS.
Join me next time as I talk about the Secret Spartan Society (SSS), a local group in Tampa that I partook in based on my interest in David DeAngelo and pickup.
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